Aug 17

Diacarta helps me visualize how fashionably late I should be

 

I have to say, when it’s all laid out on a clock face in  (Diacarta), Austin Fashion Week looks even more awesome. Let me help translate what some of these icons mean for you:

 Party with a 8 to 1 ratio of photographers to attendees. Every person with a Flip thinks they’re media.

 Party with nice bottles of wine secretly being filled with box wine once the guests are too drunk to notice.

 Fashion show with more than 70% entirely off the rack “original looks.” Generally Austinites don’t really know better. 

Aug 15

A personal study on who gets laid more: iPhone or Android

This week my pickup site of choice released a groundbreaking study that rocked the interwebs revealing conclusively that iPhone users get more tail than other phone users. Well  (OkCupid) it would have saved you a lot of time to just come and ask me. However, many sites are decrying this study and pushing Android and Blackberry users to stand up and proclaim their playerdom. In the name of accuracy, I decided to take a more scientific look.

So, let’s personalize this study down a little bit and look at a sample group: Lady AppApp’s own OkCupid dates. Thankfully it splits nicely into an even number, with equal representation of iPhone and…well, other users (you already know one is a..shudder..blackberry.) 

Now, Lady AppApp isn’t in the habit of kissing and telling, but since this is for the sake of science we’ll anonymize things a bit. Thus far what my personal study says, unfortunately, contradicts the OkCupid results. Although I can’t speak to their lifetime number, I can say that as Lady AppApp’s numbers stand, it’s a 1 to 2 ratio of iPhone to other (though one of these iPhoners is new in the study, we’ll see if the data fluctuates in the coming weeks….so to speak.)

This study continues to elicit the question: do iPhone users have more sex, or do more opportunities for the sex present themselves because these people have iPhones. Although my own OKcupid profile specifically states I have a sweet tooth for iPhone users, I’ve still found myself in the “opposites attract” scenario of loving a man who rolls his eyes when I ask if we can FaceTime. I have to think that it must be some quality of iPhone users that makes them more sexually charged than that iPhone is a panty dropper itself, even if other studies contradict the result.

Aug 14

What story does our LBSN tell?

Information is great, but as I’ve said before, it’s what we do with that information that matters. Simply harnessing it without any use is a fruitless practice. This is one reason I’m in love with newly released app,  (Blacktop.) This app puts Foursquare checkins into a sequential order that tells a story. It’s not a complex app, and it doesn’t perfectly suit me, for example, when I’m out partying until 3am I consider that part of the preceding day, not the following. It makes my days look a little odd when I’m “starting” at a bar and then going to work, and I almost NEVER do that.

So I’m not trying to go into another long waxing rant on the power of information, but I have had a recent idea for another form of Foursquare visualization that I’m giving out free to the banks of the world to adopt. I’ll gladly bring my account (and I know that’s not saying a lot) to the first bank to adopt it:

We already have existing data feeds of what money we spend and where we spend it. What if we mash this information with our Foursquare to see money trails and concentrations of spending. Personal accounting is dull as all get out but engaging presentations make it more fun and I would be far more conscious of my spending if I saw how my tab got more generous at bars as the night progressed or realized the full cost of my social life or realized how little of my money is fed back into my community.  

So Wells Fargo, BOA, CitiBank….get on this guys, I’m handing it to you on a silver platter.

You would probably get better sex advice by just buying the hooker a $2.99 coffee and picking her brain than you would by using  (Cosmo Sex Position of the Day). Hearst magazines chair Cathie Black explained Cosmo's sex-tips app to NPR and how it’s going to help save the magazine industry. 

You would probably get better sex advice by just buying the hooker a $2.99 coffee and picking her brain than you would by using  (Cosmo Sex Position of the Day). Hearst magazines chair Cathie Black explained Cosmo's sex-tips app to NPR and how it’s going to help save the magazine industry. 

Aug 10

The Lady is Pissed: Anti-Choice Appaganda

Lady AppApp is not a political site, but it is a site that represents the values of freedom and education (values that our muse Lady Gaga has also advocated.) That’s why when we see apps in the app store that challenge those values…well, we get a little pissy. So Daddy Steve, we humbly submit this request:

Dear Steve,

I’m not a modest women when it comes to apps, as a quick scroll through my Sexulator app can clearly illustrate, and yet I sympathize with your campaign to keep the iTunes store a respectable place. I’m pretty sure you’re not denying us any vital enhancements by ending our ability to shake the clothes off a model.

But while you’re busy rejecting mirror apps with coquettish models, I’d love it if you would consider putting the boot on another type of offensive app. The other day while browsing the health and fitness section I came across (Alternatives), a helpful app to guide a woman through unplanned pregnancy choices. In reading through the app I noticed some glaringly slanted language and pretty quickly realized that by “alternatives” and “choices” they meant anything but abortion and birth control. Shall we share some excerpts?

"This is a preborn baby at about 12 weeks. He or she is no more or less a human than a preborn baby at 6 weeks or a newborn of 1 month." Now first of all, the word "preborn" is a term invented by the anti-choice movement, but let’s not get into semantics. It’s also pretty legally, medically  and morally debatable on exactly when a fetus becomes a baby, let alone a “human” as they like to say in this app. And furthermore, at 12 weeks, a baby’s eyes have just moved off the sides of its heads which means it effectively looks like that baby in Eraserhead and we all know how well that turns out. Regardless, it doesn’t take much searching to figure out Alternatives Womens Center is a religious organization and their app reflects as much.

Now I know this is a touchy topic and maybe you don’t think it’s Apple’s place, but I can certainly tell you that many local governments DO feel it’s their place. Take Austin for example, that’s where lady AppApp resides, where the city council has forced these bogus miseducating “medical” centers to post signs in English and Spanish saying they don’t actually offer much in the way of help at all. Perhaps it’s time for a “religious” category in the app store and perhaps that’s where this, for a lack of a better word I’m inventing one, appaganda belongs.

The app store is a global center where different cultures, religions and nations are free to coexist. The offensive aspect of this app does not have to do with the fact that it clearly projects an anti-choice point of view, but that it doesn’t openly disclose this anywhere and effectively exploits the ignorance of the same women it claims to help.

Steve, don’t just make the app store a safe place for children, make it a safe place for women too.

<3

Lady AppApp

PS The app is crappy too 

Aug 09

Ironically, you can’t check in at the Foursquare store

Fresh off of my post about badges, Foursquare is selling its own “sash with sleeves” to show off all your fancy pants badges. The limited edition shirt is part of the company’s new store which also features stickers and pins. Apparently they are also planning to offer special items available only to those who have achieved particular badges.

It’s a good thing Foursquare set this store up, otherwise they might not have ANY monetization strategy once Facebook inevitably slays them.

Taking pictures at a party called Get Wet makes me a little nervous for my iPhone&#8217;s safety, but I managed to pop off this shot with  and stay dry.

Taking pictures at a party called Get Wet makes me a little nervous for my iPhone’s safety, but I managed to pop off this shot with  and stay dry.

When cowboy and indian moped gangs have a scavenger hunt in Austin, it looks like this. Put it all together using  (Montager)

When cowboy and indian moped gangs have a scavenger hunt in Austin, it looks like this. Put it all together using  (Montager)

Aug 07

Where&#8217;s the ACLU when you really need them?

Where’s the ACLU when you really need them?