Laugh all you want at the iPogo and Sesame Street’s Apple indoctrination of America’s children, but all these apps do in fact exist:

Want to comb your cat
 Caring For Your Cat by App Warrior

If you have to fix a flat
 Fixing Bike Flats by Amateur Athlete Store

Need a word that rhymes with gnat
 Rhyme Now by Kenn Nesbitt

Or a place to hang your hat
 IKEA Catalogue by Inter IKEA 

Got a chimp who likes to chat
 Toy Monkey by Azimuth Entertainment Inc.

If your butter needs a pat
 iButterToast by Freedom Hobby 

If you need to ratatatat
 Green Cymbals by Rocket Hippo

Got to practice singing scat
 Ella Elephant Scats Like That by Fusion Creative Studios 

Want to meet a boy name matt
 Grindr by Nearby Buddy Finder  

Count to ten in no time flat
 CountApp by Mystic Coders

The  (Double Rainbow Everywhere) app IS double rainbow. And my cat is also double rainbow.

I have to say, when it’s all laid out on a clock face in  (Diacarta), Austin Fashion Week looks even more awesome. Let me help translate what some of these icons mean for you:

 Party with a 8 to 1 ratio of photographers to attendees. Every person with a Flip thinks they’re media.

 Party with nice bottles of wine secretly being filled with box wine once the guests are too drunk to notice.

 Fashion show with more than 70% entirely off the rack “original looks.” Generally Austinites don’t really know better. 

Taking pictures at a party called Get Wet makes me a little nervous for my iPhone’s safety, but I managed to pop off this shot with  and stay dry.

When cowboy and indian moped gangs have a scavenger hunt in Austin, it looks like this. Put it all together using  (Montager)

Where’s the ACLU when you really need them?

So I got dumped today. Yeah, I know, I’m thinking the same thing you are. Who the fuck dumps a hot chick like Lady AppApp, right? A BLACKBERRY user, that’s who. A PC user. It was over before it started, talk about a bad romance. But thankfully this weekend I also got an iPhone 4, which kind of put it all into perspective. Frankly it’s hard to be too depressed about a man leaving my life when retina display has just entered it. And apparently, I’m not the only one who feels that a man is an accessory that’s about as necessary as a dangly little cell phone charm. My new BFF Ashleigh Adams over Yahoo has a top five reasons list why iPhones are better than dudes, including its ability to know when the hell its time to switch to silent mode. Amen Ashleigh.

So, no hard feelings Mr.Blackberry, you were about as outdated as that device you never texted me back on, and it aint like you were going to get any Facetime tail anyway with that piece of junk. Snap.